Failure in math

i was never good in math. even though, i put up so much

effort for that subject, still i can't get that score that i always

crave for. how i wished i could do better in math. how i wished

my mind will had that capacity to do some complicated

equations without giving a sweat. i wish i was like that

reality had bitten me. it was swollen at first but it healed it self

but leaving a mark there furthermore, i now accept that .. im dumb

with that subject. yes i am,yet im still putting up

so much efforts and time for it just to pass that subject.

at least its better than doing nothing and giving up

as i always said, i was never-slash-will never be good in math.

thats why i'll never be confident enough

to answer when im called in a recitation

like what happened awhile ago, i was called

i answered it correctly, but there was doubts

inside my head. full of them, showered by questions

and flooded by the lack of self-esteem that i had

for that subject

sometimes, i envy those people who could actually

solve complicated math equations without actually

frowning to their notes like i always do.

i looked up to them.

i think of them as superior than any other.

if there was such thing as math phobia then

how i wish i could overcome that.

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